When to Know You Need Marriage Counseling

May 20, 2021

Admitting you need help can be both scary and humbling. But it can also lead you to a happy ending: a healthy relationship built on open communication, mutuality, respect, love, and commitment.

7 signs it may be time for couples counseling

No two marriages are the same. Each partner brings a set of hopes, dreams, personality quirks and family baggage to the relationship. And when you mix the two together, it can be terrific or it can be hell.
There is no one-size-fits-all approach to figure out the best time to seek help.  Generally speaking, the earlier the better, but it depends on the couple’s dynamics.

By paying attention to the following signs, you just might save your relationship.  

  • Poor communication

Your home is either really loud from all the yelling or very quiet due to silent treatment.  Also, couples in distress may communicate to each other through their children.  Often, couples say they feel like they are having the same argument over and over again.

  • Lack of physical or emotional intimacy

Couples often feel like roommates. There’s no sexual chemistry in the marriage anymore. “We’re like two ships passing in the night.”

  • Betrayal

You suspect your partner is lying or you know that you definitely are. Perhaps there has been infidelity. Cheating comes in many forms. It doesn’t have to be physical, person-to-person infidelity. Trust can be broken through actions carried out online or while using social media.

  • A major life change

The birth of a child, the death of a loved one, relocation, buying or building a new home, starting a new job, children leaving home for college, or retirement can have a huge impact on your marriage.

  • Addiction

An addiction to drugs, alcohol, gambling, or pornography can strain a relationship.

  • Mental Health Concerns

One or both partners may be experiencing anxiety or depression or other mental health illness, like Bipolar Disorder.  Remember, mental illness is a family illness.

  • Finances

There are times when one partner keeps his or her spouse in the dark about spending or needs to control everything related to money.

The benefits of couples therapy

Partners supporting each other increases the likelihood of overall wellbeing of each individual as well as the health and happiness of the couple.
Marriage counseling can:

  • Improve communication so you both feel heard, understood and validated.
  • Strengthen the emotional bond between partners.
  • Increase cooperation, honesty, and trust.
  • Reduce stress.
  • Increase romance and sexual intimacy.

The idea that couples therapy is a one-way ticket to separation or divorce is a myth. According to the American Psychological Association, marriage counseling works about 75% of the time. Those in abusive relationships and those already actively separating make up a big portion of the remaining 25%.

There are plenty of couples whose marriages have been strengthened and saved by marriage counseling.  Decide together to reach out to 12 Oaks Counseling of Hyde Park.